How Yoga Helped Me Through Cancer
Cancer was never on my radar. I was young(ish), healthy and took care of myself – I ate healthy, I drank lots of water, I exercised, I slept well. Yet, at age 41, I found myself with a cancer diagnosis and scared out of my mind. A few years prior, after a divorce and corporate burnout, I made a career change and decided to start teaching yoga (a dream of mine) and little did I know how important my teacher training would become.
One of my biggest learnings in yoga teacher training was that yoga is so much more than movement. It’s not about working out or flexibility, it’s about energy and your state of mind.
After my cancer diagnosis, I my treatment plan consisted of surgery followed by concurrent chemotherapy and radiation for 7 weeks. I practiced yoga regularly leading up to surgery and again after I had healed from treatment and was feeling up to a physical practice. During active cancer treatment, I didn’t do much physical yoga as I focused on listening to my body and respecting what it was needing during that challenging time.
While I wasn’t doing much physical yoga during cancer treatment, I was absolutely using yoga philosophy to make my way through it. Here is what helped me the most:
Yoga taught me to let go of outcomes
The best advice I received from another cancer survivor was to “take it one day at a time”. Yoga philosophy teaches us to try to not to attach to outcomes in order to live with more ease. In my case, the outcome I wanted was to be done with treatment, to feel better and to be cancer free. I had no control over the outcome and I couldn’t hurry it along. I decided to make “one day at a time” my mantra through treatment to keep myself unattached to those outcomes. I would catch myself worrying about how I might feel next week or how side effects might impact me and would say to myself “just one day at a time”. I’d ask myself how I was doing in that moment and what I’d need to do to make it to bedtime. Feeling nauseous? Take some meds and a nap. Feeling lonely? Reach out to a friend. The more I practiced unattaching from outcomes and staying focused on the present day, the easier it got. This practice of letting go of outcomes helped me get through treatment with more ease than I otherwise would have.
Yoga showed me how to use my energy wisely
Yoga philosophy encourages us to seek contentment and to do this we must get to a state of acceptance with our current situation. We each have a finite amount of energy to give each day, and we get to choose how we use that energy. Early on, I was using much of my energy worrying about why cancer happened to me or what the future might bring (the possible side effects of treatment are scary!). Eventually, I realized I could use my energy better. I wanted to find contentment and deep relaxation so my body could use my energy to heal itself from the treatment I was undergoing. I started incorporating a daily grounding session – I’d lay outside in the grass, listen to a resonance meditation playlist, feel the breeze and the warm sunlight, and let myself bask in the peacefulness of it all. When my mind wandered toward worry, I’d remind myself to notice what I could hear and feel as I laid outside and saved my energy for healing. I strongly believe that this practice helped me manage side effects and get through my treatment better than I was expecting.
Yoga challenged me to be brutally honest with myself
Being truthful or honest is a key pillar in yoga philosophy. This I do not do well. I am optimistic and have an easy time identifying the good things, but I tend to ignore the harder things. I pretend like they are not happening. I power through. I tell myself I shouldn’t let things bother me. I tried that for a while but found myself nearly exploding with the tension that I was bottling up. I had to finally admit that this experience sucked. I had to admit that I was angry, I was afraid, I was sad, and I was overwhelmed. I started a daily journal practice where I’d get everything out on paper. I’d give myself time each day to vent AND afterward I’d ask myself if there was anything that could make it a little bit easier. Chemo days were hard for me; the infusions were scary and led to days of not feeling well. To make it a little easier, I asked friends to join me at the cancer center on those days and soon I was looking forward to chemo days so I could hang with friends. Without my journaling practice, I would have just powered through chemo on my own, telling myself it was fine and that I could handle it. When I finally got honest and faced the truth, I was able to support myself better and turn something hard into something special. I had to stop pretending and face the tough stuff, not to wallow in it but to understand it and empower myself to do something about it.
Yoga helped me immensely through my cancer journey. It is so much more than a physical practice, it is a mindset practice that can help us get through tough times if we let it. Yoga teaches us to let go of attachments and take things one day at a time. It teaches us to use our energy wisely by seeking contentment. It reminds us to slow down, listen and get honest with ourselves about the good and the bad and what might make it feel a little better. I encourage you to try to incorporate these yoga philosophies into your life in whatever way is meaningful for you. Feel free to put your own spin on it. Cancer is hard, maybe these ideas can help you too.
Be well.
Nikki Massa is a Minnesota native, mom, cancer survivor and owner of True North Yoga. True North Yoga is a mobile wellness provider offering yoga, meditation and reiki in the Minneapolis & St Paul Minnesota metro area. Learn more and schedule your own custom on-site session at www.truenorthyogamn.com or contact Nikki at hello@truenorthyogamn.com.